Sex Therapy & Sexual Counselling in
Vancouver
"Sex is a vital part of our experience as human beings
and a strong motivating force in our lives. It has the potential
for creating intense pleasure and fulfillment or causing much pain and
suffering".
Some of the sexual problems people commonly request help
for are:
Sexual problems are a source of great emotional pain. When
individuals have sexual problems, they experience a disruption
in the gratification of not only a primary
need, but also one of life's greatest natural pleasures.
This stirs up intense
feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and frustration in not only the person
experiencing the problem, but also the partner. I believe
that the best way to
treat a sexual problem is to conceptualize it as a couple
issue. Regardless of which partner has the problem, both
contribute to its maintenance. Progress
occurs when both partners take responsibility for their part
in the problem. For a description of
how I treat addictive/compulsive sexual behavior, and male problems of sexual performance,
including clinical cases, click on the links above. For a description of how I treat low sexual
desire, including a clinical case, see below.
Low Sexual Desire
Low sexual desire or inhibited sexual desire is the number
one sexual problem with couples. Approximately one in three
women and one in seven men report low sexual desire. Low sexual desire manifests
itself in low sexual marriages (defined as having sex less
than 25 times
a year) and non sexual marriages (defined as having sex less
than 10 times a year).
Sexuality in low sexual and non sexual marriages assumes
an inordinate, negative role, robbing them of 50 to 75 percent
of marital satisfaction. When sexuality
goes well, it is a positive but not major component, adding
15 to 20 percent of marital
satisfaction. Healthy marital sexuality serves the positive functions of
creating shared pleasure, reinforcing the relationship attachment,
and
reducing tension related to the stresses of life and marriage.
Because low sexual and non sexual marriages lack the "inoculating
effect" of healthy marital sexuality, they are more likely to end
in divorce than marriages in which sexual desire is intact.
Approach to Treating Low Sexual Desire
My approach to treating low sexual desire is eclectic, combining
elements of cognitive-behavioral sex therapy, Emotionally
Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Couples
Voice Therapy (VT). This eclectic approach stresses a one-two
combination, in which
each individual assumes responsibility
for his or her own sexuality, and both partners work as an
intimate team to address the couple
issue of low sexual desire.
For the sake of clarity, the process of change is described
in five discreet steps. In actuality, these steps are overlapping
and recursive. The steps are illustrated using the clinical case
of a woman experiencing low sexual desire in a non sexual
mariage.
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