Sex Therapy Vancouver

Sex Counselling Therapy in Vancouver, BC

Human sexuality is a vital aspect of life. At some point in the life cycle, many people will experience problems with their sexuality and could benefit from the assistance of sex therapy in Vancouver (also called sexologists and sex therapists). As a therapist in Vancouver, BC, who combines compassion with a variety of sex therapy exercises and techniques, I provide professional counselling services to adult individuals and couples, regardless of age, genders, and orientation.

I can provide you help with the following:

  • Diminished sexual desire/discrepancies of sexual desire
  • Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
  • Premature Ejaculation (PE)
  • Delayed Ejaculation (DE)
  • Sex-negative view of Masturbation and Pornography

Help With a Sex-Positive View of Masturbation/Pornography

Masturbation (also called self-pleasuring) is a natural, simple function that most people engage in whether single or partnered in order to ease tension, induce sleep (masturbation has a sedative effect for men), and experience pleasure. Men and women also use pornography as a tool or aid to facilitate masturbation by increasing sexual arousal and excitement. They relate to self-pleasuring with pornography in a sex-positive way by 1) viewing pornography as pretend/fantasy-based rather than how real people have sex, and 2) giving it less priority than relational sex if they are in a relationship.

Unfortunately, some people feel conflicted about how they relate to self-pleasuring with pornography – such as those who do it more than they want to avoid anxiety, those who feel guilty because of sex-negative, religious upbringings, and those whose partners dislike it. Their internal conflict robs them of the relief and natural pleasure that they could experience otherwise self-pleasuring with pornography.

If you feel conflicted about how you relate to masturbation/pornography, and would like to learn how to relate to it in a healthy, sex-positive manner either as an individual or in a relationship, I’m happy to assist you.

Help for Married Couples with Low Desire/Discrepancies of Sexual Desire

One partner’s low desire can be a large source of emotional stress in relationships for couples. Typically, the higher desire spouse feels rejected, which triggers intrusive feelings of anxiety and undesirability (an aspect of shame). The spouse with low desire feels pressured, which triggers intrusive feelings of anxiety and guilt (an aspect of shame). As fear and shame increase, the relationship experiences negative cycles of blame and avoidance, damaging intimacy and connection.

Discrepancies of sexual desire are also a large source of emotional stress in relationships. Discrepancies of desire describe couples in which both partners’ level of sexual desire is within a normative range, but one partner wants more sex than the other, resulting in conflict. These couples can benefit from shifting the focus from the frequency of sex to what both partners want to feel more of during sex.

I offer comprehensive, compassionate, marriage counselling in treating diminished interest in individuals and marriages. Because diminished interest is difficult to treat, initially my methods used involve heightening motivation. I emphasize that sex is a team sport, and that the more men and women work together as a team, with the willingness to do whatever it takes, the more likely they are to find a way through and around the vexing issue of diminished libido and to restore intimacy.

After increasing motivation, I draw upon a variety of sex counselling exercises that are tailored to the relationship situation. Typically, this part of therapy includes interrupting the relationship’s negative, pursue-distance sexual cycle, introducing a model of responsible communication to facilitate talking honestly and responsibly about sexual thoughts, emotions, and fantasies, integrating erotic interests that have remained hidden, planning sexual dates, and exercises for couples.

For a hypothetical case study that illustrates my way of counselling relationships with diminished interest, click on the link below. This describes a woman experiencing a lowered desire in a nonsexual marriage.

Therapy for Male Sex Performance Issues

Having provided ​counselling services to countless men who struggle with Erectile Dysfunction (ED), Premature Ejaculation (PE), and Delayed Ejaculation (DE), I get how distressing these issues are. Men experience a loss of confidence, fear, shame (humiliation), and depression, typically suffering in silence and not knowing how to talk about these all too common difficulties. These emotions are often triggered for their partners also, who are puzzled by men’s avoidance of love-making and tend to blame themselves. The good news is that by bringing sex performance issues into the light, and working in couples therapy as an intimate team to achieve orgasm (love-making is best viewed as a team sport), they can be managed and often resolved such that the relationship continues to reap the multiple benefits of healthy sexuality and intimacy.

Counselling involves learning and practicing cognitive-behavioral techniques. Although each of the performance issues requires a somewhat different approach, reducing anxiety and increasing sexual arousal are common to all three, with the exception of PE, where, rather than heightening arousal, clients learn its management.

Please click on the link below to read a hypothetical case study that illustrates how ​I provide counselling to treat sexual performance issues. This case involves a man experiencing primary PE and secondary ED.

View the Case Study.

At some point in life, many people have problems or issues pertaining to sexuality. Regardless of whether you are struggling with how you relate to masturbation/pornography, low sexual desire/or a discrepancy of desire in your relationship, or issues pertaining to male sexual performance, Dr. James is pleased to offer his services. The hardest step to finding a solution is often the first – reaching out. As an experienced, Dr. of Counselling-Psychology in BC and sex therapist/sexologist, Dr. James invites you to contact him by email, phone, or text at 604-873-0222. He is happy to engage in a brief consultation in order to answer your questions. Dr. James is usually able to accommodate clients within one week.