Registered Psychologist Vancouver, BC for Counselling and Therapy for Individuals and Couples
Individual Counselling in Vancouver to treat anxiety, depression, guilt/shame, anger, trauma, and a wide range of emotional problems - Couples Counselling in Vancouver to resolve relational conflict, sexual issues, and problems of emotional distance - Treatment of addictions to address out of control behaviors such as sex, alcohol, and drugs - Sex Therapy to alleviate male performance issues such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation and problems pertaining to sexual desire in relationships.
Within the context of a warm, compassionate, therapeutic relationship, I assist adults with a variety of emotional difficulties such as:
- Alcohol and drug addiction
- Sex addiction
- Self-defeating behaviors
- Childhood abuse (physical, emotional and sexual)
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of assertiveness
- Relationship conflict
- Communication problems
- Difficulties with trust/intimacy
- Sexual Problems including low sexual desire, sexual addictions, performance problems
Individual therapy counselling in Vancouver assists individuals to resolve emotional difficulties such as depression, anxiety, addictions, grief, trauma, low self-esteem, procrastination, interpersonal problems, stress reactions, and problems in living. Individuals come to counselling because they feel conflicted internally and are unhappy. Often they attribute their unhappiness to external factors, not realizing that the source of their unhappiness lies in intrusive feelings of fear, shame, and emotional pain (see the article, Intrusive Feelings).
The goal of individual counselling is to help people regulate rather than avoid the intrusive feelings that underlie their problems in order to become a happier, healthier self. As a healthier self, one is less troubled by distressing feelings, less conflicted internally, and freer to pursue one's goals and to tolerate love.
Relationship (Couples and Marriage) Counselling
Couples come to couples counselling Vancouver because they are experiencing emotion-based problems such as poor communication, conflict, emotional distance, affairs, lack of trust and intimacy, and sexual issues. What underlie these emotion-based problems are intrusive feelings of fear, pain, and shame that are triggered most strongly in close relationships. Read about Emotionally Focused Therapy in Vancouver.
The goal of couple’s counselling is to help partners regulate and reveal intrusive feelings in order to build a more loving, respectful attachment. In a loving attachment, partners reveal their intrusive feelings and dependency needs responsibly, and listen compassionately which results in increased happiness, connection, and intimacy.
Individuals request help with out-of- control behavior – such as sex, alcohol, and drugs. What underlies addictive behavior is an avoidance of intrusive feelings (emotional pain, anxiety, and shame) by escaping temporarily into pleasurable feelings (euphoria). Addictive behavior is difficult to change because it is highly reinforcing both negatively (by avoiding the intrusive feelings) and positively (by creating euphoria).
The goal of addiction counselling is to help people regulate their intrusive feelings and to find alternative, pleasurable behaviors. As people listen to their intrusive feelings with wisdom and compassion, these feelings diminish slowly enabling them to relinquish the addictive behavior and to move toward healthy, life-giving activities.
Sex Therapy Counselling
Men and their partners request help with problems of sexual performance – such as difficulty with erections, early ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation, and issues pertaining to sexual desire. What underlies sexual problems of performance and desire is often emotional issues such as performance anxiety, shame, and resentment.
The goal of sex therapy Vancouver is to assist individuals and partners to work through their emotional issues and to foster a new couple sexual style as an intimate team. Sex is best viewed as a team sport in which both partners cooperate together to experience mutual arousal, pleasure, and connection.
For further information about my approach, and how it applies to individuals and couples, see the links provided including Clinical Cases. . I welcome new clients, and invite you to contact me by email or by telephone.
Dr. Paul James, Registered Psychologist Vancouver - 604- 873-0222